I haven´t wrote a personal blog post for a while. I really wanted to badly, but there just wasn´t a way for me to express, what I want to talk about. Relationship. The UNhealthy one, to be concrete. In 5 weeks I will be 26 years old and even thought I might still be young, I have more experiences, than what I would wish for.
I bet, that whoever you are reading this, you have experienced at least one unhealthy relationship – with your partner, friend or a family member. And more then ever, in 21st century, it is so important for our mental health and over all wellbeing to get rid of the toxic people and stay true to ourselves. Keep things real! Care for your loved ones. And care for yourself!
Spending too much time together.
It doesn´t matter if it is your BFF or your true love. You do not have to spend every single spare second together. I personally cannot stand possesive people. And if you spend to much time with one person it is so easy to became possesive or jealous in the moments you are seperated. It is okay to see your other friends. To have hobbies or passions you want to do alone. Create situations to miss each other. If you sucrify your whole time to the other person, what is left from your personality?! What made you so interesting for someone wanting to spend their time with you? I had friend at school, who wouldnt even pee without me being with her in the cubicle. Set your boundaries.
Tell each other everything, but not everything.
I am lucky my friends are as crazy and as openminded as I am. And I know I can be honest with them. It is great to have that one friend you can share everything with. Your day at work, your nightmares, your latest crush. But I have found out it is actually nice if you keep little things to yourself. Most people love honest, but myserious people. Find your balance. Isn´t nice to know there are little kinks and secrets you can discover. There is more depth in someone you love. In the end you are going to spend lots of life time with him or her.
Learn to say no in relationship.
I have been struggling with stepping back, well all the bloody time. I have that fear of losing people I love. This kept me in a little cage of not doing and saying what I wanted to. Scared, that him or her might not like it and leave. And everyone in life needs to get to the point, when you want people around you to love you, for who you truly are. They will not judge your desicions, they will understand you have reasons for them. Therefore, to keep your relationships healthy, you have to learn to say no. I always want my friends to be happy and I will do anything I can for them. But I had to learn, how to tell them , when they do not make me happy. Balance is the key.
From time to time take a look from the distance
Every relationship is alive. I find that if I get too attached to someone, the best thing is to take some time for myself and look on the relationship from the distance. Don´t think I over analazy this. But, every friendship or love of any kind needs to be looked after to grow strong and healthy. If someone upsets you, tell them. Don´t be mean about it. But you need to tell them, how you feel and what might should change. Sometimes they don´t even realise. And if you let them know, they will value you more. Also, they will know it its okay to come to you if they need to. Whatever the problem is, communication is always the first thing you should try.